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Archive for January, 2009

Maybe I should change my name to Hermi. I don’t know. People in general drive me NUTS. There are far too many ignorant, annoying people on the face of this earth and they think that they are God’s gift to everything. I. Want. To. Hurt. Them. 

Mostly, I have spent my day at home studying. Oh fun times. The two times that I did go out, I ran into idiots. 

Scenario number one:
Driving through a parking lot. I was following the path, driving where I was supposed to. Big truck was driving through the parking lot/parking lanes. Big truck gets to me. Literally stares at me as she continues to pull out in front of me and drive straight across. WTH? I was RIGHT there when she pulled in front of me. I wasn’t even a ways a way. I. Was. Right. There.

Scenario number two:
Boys, approximately ten years old playing basketball in the middle of the street and might I add that it is dark outside. Normally, when these boys see a car, they do the respectable thing, grab their ball and step out of the way. Today, there was a different boy with him. What did he do? Continue to play basketball. I lightly honked my horn, so he began to step in front of the car. Argh. I want to go and ring his neck as I hear him out there continuing to play. We are new to the neighborhood so I do not know his family. However, from what I have seen of them, they would not comprehend what the problem of this scenario is. Actually, I don’t believe that I have even seen the parents yet although the boys are outside all the freaking time. 10:45 on a school night and these kids are running down the street. Parenting 101 – it is NOT ok to let your elementary aged kids run amuck. They do need some guidelines and routines.  The kids routinely eat Top Raumen (oh, there’s a routine!) . Know how I know? Cuz I see them and they are kind enough to leave their garbage all over my yard. They also leave their balls in the street. Things just might start disappearing. 

See, I should be a hermit. I was raised in a very conservative home. We dared not disturb Daddy Dearest when he was watching TV or taking a nap, which along with work and eating were the only things that he ever did. So I often wonder if I am a grouch as a result of my upbringing or if this kind of thing ticks off the average person as well. I seriously have no idea. 

Really, I just want a big house in the country with absolutely no neighbors. Ok, neighbors at least half a mile away would be fine. One of these days, that is my dream. I love my friends. I love my kids. I am a yacker and do enjoy the social aspect of life, but so many times, I just want to be left the hell alone. Maybe it is because I spend my days surrounded by the public and my nights and weekends surrounded by my own children. I never get the down time or the me time. It is a rarity that I savor. 

I hope I don’t turn into an old woman who keeps completely to herself. That simply would not be good. If we could have people pass an IQ test in order to roam the earth freely, that might help significantly. I seriously wonder what happened to the social norms of courtesy and common sense. When did we stop caring about others and start worrying only about ourselves, almost thriving to make the other person mad? I wonder, I wonder, I wonder. 

So tell me my dear reader, am I a grouch or would these things irritate you as well?

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My old cell phone had seen better days. I keep my phones until the two year contract has expired and usually a little beyond. My latest phone was fun at first, but nothing too exciting. It was a Motorola Sliver. The only thing that really set it apart at the time of purchase was the fact that I could play my iTunes on it. I have to admit, it was very handy going to the gym and working out to my phone. As a single mom, I can never truly relax when I am away from the kids. I always have to remain by the phone. The Sliver aloud me to do so even during my workouts. 

As time worn on, so did my phone. I am not hard on my phones. In fact, I typically take very good care of things. I usually tire of my items before they wear out, my phones included. However, my Sliver wore out long ago. Within about a year of purchase, it decided to quit ringing. This of course happened when I was waiting for a phone call, which, of course, I missed. I soon discovered that by dropping the phone on a hard floor, the ringing was restored and life could go on as before…until it would stop ringing again and I would have to repeat the process. This became a joke in my household:

“Mom, I called you. Why didn’t you answer?”
“You did? It didn’t ring.” 
At this point, I would check my phone and realize that sure enough, I missed my daughter’s call.
“I didn’t hear it ring. Try again and let’s see if it’s ringing or not.”
 After discovering that it was not ringing, we would go find a tile, laminate, wood or cement floor, and drop the phone. 
“Ok, try again.”
and yes, it would now ring.

So, this past weekend, I purchased a Blackberry. I have never wanted a Blackberry. I think that they are rather big and bulky while I prefer a small, sleek phone. I really wanted the iPhone, but the sales girl convinced me that they really aren’t that good of phones which was best since I could not afford to purchase one. I eyed the new Blackberry Bold for a bit. I really liked it. I’m not sure what it was about it, but I did want one. In fact, I still want one although I can not tell you why. Luckily, the $300 price tag was a deterrent. I did good and stayed away from it. What I ended up purchasing was a Blackberry Curve and I LOVE it! 

For the first time in my life, I understand what it is about Blackberries that people love. I have always hated to text message, but the keyboard on the Blackberry is very easy to use and the QWERTY fixes/recognizes most misspelled words.It even has built in cheats such as two pushes on the space bar equals a period and a capital letter of the next word. I was able to take my phone to work and sync it with my calendar. I no longer have to try to remember whether or not I can pick my daughter up from school or if I’ll be running late because of a meeting. It’s all at my fingertips. Tonight I decided that I am going to start storing my grocery list in my phone as well. That way I will always have my list on me instead of at home on the refrigerator. Each day I seem to discover something new about the phone. 

Tonight I ordered an 8gb micro SDHC memory card. I can not wait for it to arrive so that I can get all of my songs and pictures loaded onto my new phone. It will be like Christmas all over!! I’m such a techno nerd.

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Death stares us in the face on a daily basis. We don’t realize it. We go on with our lives not thinking twice about anything. If you are my age and think like I used to think, you know you aren’t invincible, but you simply don’t think about how life can take one turn without warning and you are staring death in the face. 

Last year, life was going along like it always does until one morning when I woke up knowing that something was drastically wrong. I found myself in the hospital for 5 days, mostly in the ICU, surgery the day of my admittance, recovery period where I was out of work for several months, I had to use a walker, I couldn’t even stand long enough to take a shower, so much more…nine months later, I’m still in my recovery stages. The life that I knew changed over night. I wasn’t in a car accident, I didn’t have some major accident, I had a DVT – Deep Vein Thrombosis. Simply stated, I had a blood clot that ran from my ankle, all the way up my leg into my vena cava (the vein that joins both veins in your leg and meets in your abdomen) and starting to go into my right leg. 

At the time, I knew nothing about blood clots. I knew “old” people got them and that you can die from them. That’s the extent of it. I didn’t know that roughly 300,000 Americans die per year as a result of DVTs. I didn’t know that anyone can get one. I didn’t know that there were blood conditions that make you more susceptible to receiving one. I didn’t know that I had one of those conditions (Factor V Leiden). 

I now live with Post Thrombotic Syndrome  or Postphlebitic Syndrome (same thing, different name) and my life is forever changed. I am trying to get my strength and flexibility back. Everyday things such as shopping and even sitting or standing has to be done with much consideration. Leg cramps, coughing, dizziness, all of these things can now result in a trip to the hospital as I never know if or when I may get another DVT. 

When I was admitted to the hospital, my children were 14 and 7 years old. I am a single mom. Our world primarily consists of just us. I am my children’s care taker 24/7. They do not have weekend visits with Dad. They don’t go away for weeks or even nights at a time. Grandma and Grandpa live several hours away. We have no family in the area although we do have wonderful friends. My children and I are a tight family. Needless to say, my events terrified them. 

I had an incident of concern yesterday and my daughter, although trying to be strong, was barely holding herself together. I was puzzled by this. I knew that whatever was going on was not a big deal, I just needed to get it checked out. She finally admitted to me that the day she went to the hospital, the very first words she heard was from the surgeon stating, “She’s lucky to be alive.” 

I was fine the night before. I wasn’t fine the next morning. While I live with the physical results of my disorder, I think it is my daughter who has suffered the most. She knows and understands that I really should have died. She lives in fear that I just might. How do you comfort that? How do you convince a child that you are safe when the reality is, we just never know. 

I fully believe that I am alive so that I can continue to mother my children. I will not tempt this fate, this second chance at life. If only I could erase the burden of fear that my daughter now carries…

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That got your attention, didn’t it? LOL

I got my panties in a wad tonight. Without sending you to the post that I was referring to, let me say a few things:

1a. Just because you are 18 or 19 years old, you are NOT an adult. Sorry. You can’t even legally drink yet (in America…this whole post is to Americans unless it applies to other countries, too. lol) 
1b. Until you have moved out of your parents’ home and stopped depending on them to provide for you, you are not an adult. If you are 30 before you can make it on your own, you are not an adult. Don’t get me completely wrong here. I’m not talking to the people that have hit rock bottom financially, I’m talking to the people who have never stood on their own two feet. Your parents buy your groceries, do your laundry, clean the house (and your room!), etc. You are not a grown up. Start buying groceries, pay your parents rent, clean the house. Until you can move out and act like an adult, quit whining and throwing a fit about your parents’ rules. If you live in a dorm, you are still not an adult. Sorry. 
2. Just because you are an Eagle Scout, most of us don’t find you that impressive. Keep your values, but move on once you graduate high school…and then reteach those values to your children when the day comes.
3. Don’t make plans to be a senator, let alone a president, until you have lived life a bit. Learn about laws. Learn about the system. Do some internship or even get a job in the public sector (social work, schools, etc.) and then the political sector BEFORE you make that decision. I’m not saying disregard that dream, but make sure you really understand what it is about first.
4. I am tired of the right-winged Christians judging everyone without getting the facts first. I will not go to hell for this. I am sure that Jesus agrees with this. I find some of the movements a slap in Jesus’ face. We are to live by His example. I don’t see anywhere in the Bible where he disowned people because they were gay, prostitutes, sinners, whatever. No, He says to love the sinner. So why can’t you stop preaching against all of these people and actually find some LOVE for them. Maybe your loving them would make them give 2 cents about what you have to say and THEN they’d be willing to listen. Argh. Think about this!!! Love the sinner, hate the sin. Kind of like when your own children have disappointed you. You may be upset and angry with them and disapprove of their choice(s), but you still LOVE them and you make sure that they know this. Where is the love?
5. Before you attack the public school system, take part in it. Find out what the curriculum really is. Go to the PTO meetings and board meetings. Be an active member of the school and community. The public schools are ran by the community. YOU decide what is taught there more than anything else. Also, don’t judge the whole school on ONE bad teacher. I readily admit that there are some BAD teachers out there, but there are some amazing ones, too.
6. Martin Luther King Jr. was an incredible man who deserves to be recognized and celebrated.  
7. I will always be sad when I think of Princess Diana. She did not deserve to die…not that most people do, but you know.
8. Barack Obama scares me. He’s too smooth of a talker. I hope he’s a good president, but I don’t understand why everyone seems to be blindly following him. I really do hope he turns out to be as great as everyone seems to think he will be. Maybe, just maybe, he will be our next JFK.
9. 6, 7, and 8 really had nothing to do with this post, but I wanted to say them anyways.
10. (another one I want to say just because) My ex-husband, father of my child, and friend, is serving his third term in Iraq. Yes, his THIRD. No one deserves to be over there that many times. It breaks my heart. Once is once too many. Three? I just can’t even go there. Once, I guess I can see that is what you signed up for when you joined the military, but THREE? Three freakin’ times???? Come on already. Time to put an end to this BS (and please don’t tie this into Obama and how he will put an end to it…we don’t know that and only time will really tell). Yep, I’m skeptical.

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So…I feel like I should post a blog. However, I am exhausted and uninspired. Have a great week everyone (or anyone who happens to read this! :))

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We did it. We, my children and I, escaped our comfort zone and headed to the thrift store this afternoon (see my previous post I Am a Snob). Before we even walked in the door, we giggled at the fact that everything in the store was color coded. I can not explain why this struck us as funny, but it did. Everything pink, red, black, blue, green, you name it was grouped together. First, the clothing hung on the rack in the proper color coded section. Atop the racks, color coded home decor (of the same color, of course!) was placed. The store is relatively new and I am pleased to announce that we were greeted by the heavy scent of floral air freshener rather than that nauseating old lady smell that I feared.

It quickly became obvious that none of us were going to make it through this shopping experience in a serious manner. My son immediately began finding odd items, bringing them to me wondering what they were.  I had no idea. We found two Chinese symbols on marble tiles. Both of them declaring “husband”. We could only conclude that the two husbands divorced. My daughter found a brand new pair of leg warmers, still on the cardboard “leg” with the original price tag. We found a hideous floral arrangement complete with those little wire light things. Something my daughter declared was, “…so ugly not even Grandma would have it in her house.” LMAO. I found plates that, I kid you not, were identical to the set that my family had when I was a young child. That means that they were from the late 60s, early 70s. There were little candles for sale, still in the box. On the candle box top were cute little ribbons announcing the marriage of Linda and Art. There was a glass high heel shoe with little whales swimming in it. Most of the clothing, including a leopard print skirt, appeared to be from the 80s. I really was having a flashback.

We finally decided that we had better leave before we were kicked out. I got the sense that our laughter was offending other customers. We did not go in to be snobs, we were genuinely trying to find some clothes. What I did not expect was the flashback down memory lane and the odd things that we found. I kept thinking, “Someone actually bought this stuff or received it for a gift. Either way, someone actually bought it.”

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I Am a Snob

Yes, the jury is in and I am a snob raising snob children. This is the year that I stop using my credit cards and dig myself out of this financial hell-hole that I have created. In doing so, I recently told my children that we were going to go to the thrift store to try to find jeans. There is a nice thrift store not far from us. In fact, I recently donated over half a U-Haul load to them, but that’s beside the point. While my daughter was a little apprehensive, my son is appalled. He simply does not want to wear someone else’s clothes. I don’t get this. If we can find nice clothes, take them home and wash them, what’s the big deal? It’s not like I am buying them used underwear or anything. I look at the quality of clothes that I donate and the nearly new jeans that I have donated and think that I can surely find something at the thrift store equally nice. 

Here’s the reality, though. I don’t want used clothes, either.Ugh. Yes, I am a snob. I want to go to Nordstroms (haha…there isn’t even one in this town! The closest Nordstroms is about 4 hours away) and buy their nice, new clothes. Clothes that fit nicely and last forever. Clothes that look professional and make me feel like I look like a professional. 

This is stupid thinking in some regards. I live in a town in which the nicest store around is a Macy’s. This is not a nice Macy’s, but a sub-standard Macy’s. It has a long ways to step up before it meets the expectations of the reputation of a Macy’s. No, most people in my town shop at Walmart, Ross, TJMax or Goodwill. Of course, there is also Old Navy, the Gap, Aeropostle and some of the trendy stores, but most families seem to shop at Walmart or Goodwill…even those families that are in a higher economic position than I am. In fact, that was one of my attractions of this town. There is not the pressure of keeping up with the Jones’ like there was in the large town that I came from. 

So, some day soon, I will venture out of my comfort zone and see what the thrift store has to offer. I anticipate either finding many goods and leaving excited, or being grossed out by that weird smell, prices too expensive for used clothing, and a general sense of nausea. I really hope it’s the first and not the latter.

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