As many people know, dating in your mid to late 30s on up is a whole different ball game. Add in there divorce and children, and the dynamics change that much more. In my dating escapades, I tend to meet men who are looking to get married and they want children. Their reasoning for the children is usually one of two: either they screwed it up so badly the first time that they want to see what it’s like to be an involved father or; they have never had children and they want to.
My dating philosophy is nothing like this. I have a 15 year old and an 8 year old. I am done having children. I first married at 18 years old and as such, I have never had any “me” time. I am looking forward to the time when my children are raised and I can enjoy life for myself. Selfish, but true.
Secondly, I am not looking to get married. Ultimately, it would probably be nice, but it isn’t what I am looking for. I simply want a relationship. I want to find a man that I enjoy being with, we are in a monogamous relationship, but he has his life and I have mine. When things line up, we are together, but when they don’t, we are fine with that, too. He has his home, I have mine. Surprisingly, this has proven very difficult to find.
One such relationship ended about two years ago and not on very good terms. Although we had only been dating for a few months, he was looking to get married yet couldn’t admit it. He was hinting at having me clean his house and was trying to come over to my home on a daily basis for me to cook for him. This was not and is not what I want. I already have children, I am not looking to take care of anyone else. It needs to be a two way street. Anyway, that finally put an end to the relationship and it ended pretty sourly. It wasn’t ugly and we didn’t fight, but he definitely knew where I stood.
Within a few weeks, he was proclaiming that he had “met the love of (his) life” and that they were “planning (their) lives together”. Yay. More power to them and proof that I was right. Anyway, as things would have it, he is now doing business with a colleague. My paths don’t cross with this person often and I’m embarrassed to admit that I don’t even know her name and furthermore, I don’t remember his last name. Yet, upon discovering that we work together, he asked her to tell me hi. I am so puzzled by this. Truth be told, if the tables were turned, I would have never brought him up to her.
From the sounds of it, not only did he marry the “love of his life,” he has also divorced her. Within two years of dating me, breaking up, finding the love of his life, and marrying her, he has also managed to divorce her. “Wow” is the only word that manages to escape me. How do I manage to find these men?
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