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Posts Tagged ‘bad parenting’

I grabbed my phone to check for messages. There was a text message waiting for me from someone that I seldom hear from. 

“J’s having a girl.”

First reaction: “Oh. I didn’t even know that she’s pregnant.” 

Almost immediately afterwards, “What the hell is she doing pregnant!?!?! She is a case for sterilization!” 

Let’s look at the facts. She’s maybe 24. Had her first some some 10 years ago. Yeah, that’s right. Do the math. He was put in custody once it was established that she was an unfit mother. If she agreed to get her GED (she had dropped out of school), go through rehab (uh huh), establish routine visitations, etc. etc., she could earn her right to motherhood back. This lasted for several years before the courts finally decided enough was enough and her son was adopted by the foster family that was caring for him. 

A few years later, she meets a new “man.” They are both in and out of prison for domestic violence which includes acts of attempted homicide against each other. Neither have a GED or any other kind of education. They can’t hold down jobs. They are obviously a mess, yet she gets pregnant. She has baby number two for less than two years before she loses him (seriously, why was she able to keep him so long??)

Now, she’s pregnant again. How am I supposed to respond to this text? I sure as heck am not happy about it. I’m appalled and I WILL NOT pretend to be excited. She is not capable of being a loving mother. She simply can not be. She has a long list of short term imprisonment, has lost custody to her two previous children, etc., etc. 

I contacted someone that works with CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate – it’s nice to have some connections) and asked HOW it is that these people can keep having children. WHY is it that each child is looked at separately?  This simply isn’t right. I’m all about being given a chance to prove yourself, but when you can’t prove yourself and you refuse to take the necessary steps to raise your child, you do not deserve any more chances until you are will to jump through those hoops. I would do anything to prove myself a fit mother. Anything. She was not willing to take basic steps and yet she is given a second chance. My CASA connection informed me that if someone contacts Children Services, they do have reasonable cause now and will confiscate the baby upon birth. Please let me find out when the baby is due and where she’ll be having that child! That child does not deserve to be put through what she will put it through before it is placed into custody.

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