My ex came into town last night. I gave him a welcoming hug and a kiss on the neck. There was absolutely nothing there. No feelings, no chemistry, no butterflies, nothing. It’s nice to know that even in my dreams, I am completely over my ex.
That was my dream, however, the reality is that he is coming into town tomorrow. He is coming with his girlfriend to “watch” our 15 year old daughter in a ski competition. He will blow into town sometime Friday, stay in a hotel some thirty minutes or so away, get up Saturday morning and spend the day sitting in the lodge with his girlfriend, not being able to see anything of the competition, go back to his hotel Saturday night, get up around 7 Sunday morning, and drive back home. He informed our daughter that he wants her to stay with him in the hotel Friday night. She is stressed out and in tears about this.
We separated when she was 8 months old, over 14 years ago. He disappeared from her life for several years. Around kindergarten age, he started making an appearance although his time with her has always been irregular. He has never been one to actually make time for her, instead, he squeezes her in when and if he finds the time. This usually equates to between 2 and 4 overnight stays a year. Yes, that would be 2 to 4 one night stays per YEAR. Really, it is a lame relationship and not a fatherly relationship at all, although he is the only father that she has.
So, he has not made any contact with me and I have not known what is going on with this whole weekend visit thing, neither has my daughter. Tonight, he called to tell her that he will see her sometime tomorrow and she will stay the night with him and his girlfriend, and they will all go up to the mountain together on Saturday.
First of all, it is completely awkward for our daughter to have to share a hotel room with her father, let alone his girlfriend. They do not have that kind of relationship. Secondly, she will have been competing all day on Friday. On days that she competes, she comes home around 7 and goes straight to bed, so she will be exhausted tomorrow night and not up to company. Third, she does not want to sleep in a strange bed the night before a competition. She wants to be well rested (wise girl!). Since she can not talk to him (he does not listen), I will end up being the bad guy and telling him no. I have told him before that she wants alone time with just him, not with the girlfriend. He doesn’t heed this advice. Now he is going to blow into town for two nights, see her for a day, and leave again. I do not understand his planning. Although he is supposedly coming into town for our daughter, this appears to be a weekend away with his girlfriend instead. This is so frustrating to me. He is on a two week vacation and this is the time that he has managed to set aside for his daughter. I simply do not get it.
Read Full Post »