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Posts Tagged ‘men’

Hobbies

My boyfriend was talking about his hobbies the other day. I stated that I need to find some hobbies. He responded, “You have me.” Then he quickly backtracked.

However, I had to agree. “I do like to play with you.”

He grinned. Big. You know, one of those cute little boy grins on an adult man. The kind that just melt you.

Yeah, he’s a keeper.

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“My dog is a shitzu and she really is a shit, but I love her to death.”

I can’t think of a time when my dog hasn’t wanted to be with me. Unlike the shitzu, my dog is a hundred pound mutt somewhere between a rottweiller and a labrador. When she hears me pull into the drive way, she yowls loudly. She also does this when I pick her up from the dog groomer. There is no doubt that my dog loves me. This is apparent to all. She doesn’t ask much of me; food, water, an ear or belly scratch here and there, some simple conversation affirming just how much I love her, a bath, and a brush.

Sure, there have been times when I have not been happy with her. For instance, there was the time when I left my brand new ski jacket out and for whatever reason, she felt that it was wise to chew holes in the pockets. She loves to eat crayons, so those must be kept up. Her drama is pretty minor and definitely bearable. The few times that she has had accidents in the house have truly been my fault for leaving her too long. She has never caused significant damage, never nipped or bit anyone. She is a very good dog in all actuality.

If men really were dogs, I am confident that women would be happier. We would always know that he is completely “into us”, that he would do anything for us, and that we really do mean the world to him. Why is it so hard to find a dog of a man?

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***WARNING – This is not a well written piece. The title should have been your first clue.   🙂

I am a firm believer in fate. I believe that if things are meant to be, they will be. I am at a point in my life in which I am waiting to see what fate is offering me. I am puzzled by it, enthused by it, excited by it. I am also terrible at waiting.

About two years ago, someone walked into my life as an acquaintance. I have never had the opportunity to get to know him due to circumstances. We had a professional relationship that really would have been awkward to breech. That relationship has since ended and circumstances put him into my life on a personal level. After having a secret crush on him for two years, we are now in the very beginning stages of dating. I hate this stage. The waiting, the not knowing, the wondering.

I have found that dating at this stage in my life is a completely different game. Well, of course it is since I was first married at 18. In adult dating, we seem to cut to the chase quicker, even breaking the “rules” of dating in many cases. We establish whether or not we want children, if we have any plans to move or are in the area for the long haul, and religious beliefs early on. We look at our list of things that are unacceptable and if the man or woman meets any of those criteria, we are quick to cross them off and move on. We have a firmer grip of who we are and what we are looking for in a relationship.

Some couples play the field more and date several people. I haven’t found this to be true for myself nor for the men that I have dated. I know at least one continued to play the field while we were together, and that was fine. I knew we weren’t in it for the long haul and it was fun while it lasted. One man told me that one woman is enough and he can’t handle trying to balance/date more than one woman at a time. I think that statement sums it up for most of us that are looking for that lasting relationship.

I find myself questioning things, not sure what to do. My gut tells me that I should do something, and I seem to have to ask someone else for their opinion just to confirm my thoughts. The reality is that I have waited for two years to get to know this man, never expecting to. We are clicking on all levels so far and I am wondering if possibly, just possibly, this could be fate…or is it just a woman looking and hoping to be in a relationship?

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Me – Have you ever noticed all of the dating advertisements on the side of Facebook? C, we have a match for you!

Daughter – Yeah, it’s really annoying.

Son to me – I don’t know why anyone would want to date you.

Umm, thanks son!!!

“That’s not what I meant. I just mean, well people are old. Why would old people date?”

So not helping here.

Son, you have the talent of most men. You say what you mean, it comes out wrong. You try to explain yourself. You make it worse. Congratulations!!  At 8 years old, you may have achieved manhood.

😉

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I wrote a blog earlier in which I mentioned that my son and I went to Lowe’s. I didn’t say much more about it, either positive or negative yet I come home tonight and discovered that Lowe’s has a site called Lowe’s Red Apron in which they linked me. Weirdness in my opinion. I do shop at Lowe’s, more frequently lately due to the purchase of my home. Other than the convenience factor, that is about the only reason that I shop there. Getting service is pretty difficult. I always have to track someone down. I don’t know if it’s just my perception, but the male customer’s seem to have employees following them, offering to help while us females have to search high and low for employees. I have had some wonderful male employees, but more often than not, they don’t really seem to want to give me the time of the day. Maybe they assume that I don’t have a clue what I’m doing. The women, on the other hand, are usually very friendly and will even joke and interact. I don’t know. I’d think that maybe it was just me, but I have heard other women say the same thing and I don’t feel this way about any other store. 

So, for you men that think women don’t do handiwork, let me tell you about some of the things that I have done. I have done these alone, researching if necessary and without the help of a professional. I have completely taken apart a toilet in order to repair parts, repaired a faulty shower knob, replaced numerous door knobs and locks, replaced handles on sliding glass doors, replaced screen doors, cut and installed wire around the foundation of my home, rebuilt a pond, fixed leaky sinks, caulked entire bathrooms, of course I have painted walls and ceilings, moved a whole home entirely on my own across state lines, repaired appliances, repair holes in walls…the list is long. 

I am woman, hear me roar!!  🙂

I wonder if Lowe’s will be linking this particular post to my blog. Hmmmm….

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My daughter’s dad and I divorced over 14 years ago when she was 8 months old.  For the first few years, he really had nothing to do with her. When she was three, I moved to another state. We lived there for two years. When we moved back to state number 1, he got involved with her life although it was somewhat spuratic. None the less, he developed a relationship with her. A few years later, I graduated college, got a job and moved away once again. They now live about 3 hours apart…except for the fact that he is currentlyon duty in Iraq.

I was talking with him online moments ago. After 14 years, we have a great relationship. Of course, we were talking about her. One part of the conversation I happened to mention that she wants to go to Australia for college (we live in America). His comments were pretty negative about that wanting to know how she plans to pay for it and if I have won the lottery. While his points are valid, I have an opposite view. While I certainly don’t know if her dreams to go to Australia are realistic, I am not going to kill them. I want her to pursue them. Explore them. Find out what it would take to make that happen and then try really hard to make those dreams come true. If there comes a time when she decideds that it just isn’t practical, so be it. In the meantime, let her dream.

The second is an ongoing problem. He schedules time with her, but rarely alone. He likes to bring his girlfriend along. While my daughter does like his girlfriend very much, the reality is that she doesn’t see her father much and she would just like some time with him. They are not married, they do not live together, she is “just” a girlfriend. In fact, she is one of many that my daughter has had to spend time with when all she wanted to do was spend time with her dad. I’ve metioned this to him before but it doesn’t change anything. If only he knew how much this bothers her and how invaluable it makes her feel. There aren’t many years left with her, she’s almost 15.

If I could give parents any advice, one would be to let your children dream. Don’t squander their dream. Help them to explore it and see if there is anyway to make it happen. The other piece would be to find time to be alone with your children. These bits of advice are true whether you live with your children or not. If we don’t let our kids dream, where is their hope in life? If we don’t take the time to spend with our kids, how will they know that we care? Talk with them about everything. Tell them how valuable they are. Cherish them. Share their dreams.

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