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Posts Tagged ‘nude’

“I’d like a Beefy Score. Actually, I’d like a Big n Tasty Beefy Score.”

“Huh?”

Me, pointing to the window, “A Beefy Score…”

Her, not cracking a smile (what’s wrong with these people?!?!)…

Me, “I’m just kidding. Seriously, though, you’re marketing team needs to be fired. First the Big N Tasty and now a Beefy Score?”

She just didn’t get it. After she walked away, I asked my daughter why the girl didn’t laugh.  

“Because only you are that retarded.”

Yeah, well, if it had been one of those young worker BOYS at the register with this old lady asking, HE would have laughed! 

 

Sorry for the reflections...

Sorry for the reflections...

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Yep, the search term, “nude girl with snakes,” led two people to my blog last night. Come on! Really? Nude girls with snakes? I want to smack someone because the only girl with a snake on my site is my daughter who is a teen and most certainly not nude. If I wasn’t offended because I know that your search led you to my teenage daughter, I wouldn’t care. However, it did lead you to my daughter and now I want to smack you. Dang it anyways.

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If the curtains are closed and you knock on the door and no one answers, don’t keep knocking and then ring the door bell. I swear I’m going to make my dog bite you (as if)! 

Why do the Jehovah Witness people always come early on a Saturday or Sunday morning and insist on someone answering the door? I was taught you knock once and move along. Maybe this religion hasn’t been taught door knocking etiquette. To top it all off, they always seem to show up on the days that insomnia kicked my butt, I was up until 4 or 5, and the whole house is finally snoozing along nicely. Do they have some type of secret sleep radar? 

At my last house, I asked them not to come anymore. They stopped for awhile. Unfortunately, it eventually began again and like I said, they are persistent until you finally open the door. So, I was at the point that I had a plan to open the door NUDE and trust me, that is NOT what they would want. This plan developed because I was in the shower when their ringing/knocking began and it continued until, wrapped in a towel, I finally answered the door. 

In high school, I had an atheist friend who threatened them off with a shot gun. I always had a great image of that one in my head. He was a red head and known to have a temper and strong opinion. His parents were out of town, so there would be no stopping him running down the street, aiming the gun and shouting obscenities. 

Next time, that little old man better not keeping knocking because someone or something will bite him. 

“I’m sorry to bother you so early, but…”  If you are sorry, then don’t do it or is door knocking, waking families up, and irritating the community a part of your ticket to heaven? Argh.

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