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Posts Tagged ‘women’

During my last doctor’s visit, I was asking my doctor about birth control options. During the past year and a half, I developed severed health complications which result in me never being able to take hormones. Birth control pills work because of the hormones that are in them. Basically, besides the condom and the sponge, my only two options are an IUD or tubal ligation. All of that aside, during the visit and the conversation, I became aware that I will have to endure menopause without the aide of any medication. OMG!

Sure, menopause is another ten years out for me, perhaps more given family history, but have you ever been around a woman going through menopause?  Did I mention, OMG!?!?!  LOL   Luckily for my children, they will be gone by then. My son may still be around, but he’ll be 18 so he will at least have the option of moving away from me. Unless I happen to remarry, that will leave just me. Just me to battle my mood swings and hot flashes.

I know I’m too young to worry about it, but really, menopause without hormones? OMG!!

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I used to know this girl. She was beautiful; dark, dark hair, deep brown eyes, olive colored skin. I was jealous of her beauty until one day I happened to notice stubbly black hair growing on her chin. This surprised me. During the next few days, I watched that beard continue to grow just a little bit more with each day. I’m sure that she was letting it grow just long enough until she could get it waxed, but I began to understand her insecurities on a whole new level.

While most women tend to have their eyebrows and even their upper lip and perhaps their chin waxed, it is not common for women to actually have a full beard. However, upon doing a handy dandy google search, I did discover that it is far more common than I had realized.

For instance, I’m sure you will recognize our first unshaven woman:

hillary_with_beard

Now you’ve got to admit, that’s some funny stuff! In all seriousness, though, being a woman with facial hair is not. Upon my google search I discovered some women who choose to wear their beards. I find this fascinating. Perhaps because it is something that I would not do. Like most women, I have some facial hair here and there that I have waxed. During those in between times, while it is growing in and not quite ready to be waxed, I become very self conscience. I can not imagine what it would be like to actually battle a full beard. I am impressed by these women that are strong enough to let their beards grow. I could never do it.

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***WARNING – This is not a well written piece. The title should have been your first clue.   🙂

I am a firm believer in fate. I believe that if things are meant to be, they will be. I am at a point in my life in which I am waiting to see what fate is offering me. I am puzzled by it, enthused by it, excited by it. I am also terrible at waiting.

About two years ago, someone walked into my life as an acquaintance. I have never had the opportunity to get to know him due to circumstances. We had a professional relationship that really would have been awkward to breech. That relationship has since ended and circumstances put him into my life on a personal level. After having a secret crush on him for two years, we are now in the very beginning stages of dating. I hate this stage. The waiting, the not knowing, the wondering.

I have found that dating at this stage in my life is a completely different game. Well, of course it is since I was first married at 18. In adult dating, we seem to cut to the chase quicker, even breaking the “rules” of dating in many cases. We establish whether or not we want children, if we have any plans to move or are in the area for the long haul, and religious beliefs early on. We look at our list of things that are unacceptable and if the man or woman meets any of those criteria, we are quick to cross them off and move on. We have a firmer grip of who we are and what we are looking for in a relationship.

Some couples play the field more and date several people. I haven’t found this to be true for myself nor for the men that I have dated. I know at least one continued to play the field while we were together, and that was fine. I knew we weren’t in it for the long haul and it was fun while it lasted. One man told me that one woman is enough and he can’t handle trying to balance/date more than one woman at a time. I think that statement sums it up for most of us that are looking for that lasting relationship.

I find myself questioning things, not sure what to do. My gut tells me that I should do something, and I seem to have to ask someone else for their opinion just to confirm my thoughts. The reality is that I have waited for two years to get to know this man, never expecting to. We are clicking on all levels so far and I am wondering if possibly, just possibly, this could be fate…or is it just a woman looking and hoping to be in a relationship?

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piggy

She died. I knew I would be sad the day that it happened. I relied on her. I could tell just by looking at her that she was feeling old, getting tired. I knew that one day I would approach her and she simply would not respond. Today was that today. On my birthday, of all days, she has passed on. 

I was on the phone with my mother when I discovered it. I was calm. My mom had no idea what was happening. I turned on the water and flipped the switch. I heard a gentle hum, but not the usual triumph and swirl. I got down on my hands and knees. I looked underneath her for that magical reset button. It took me a little bit to find it, but I finally did. I pushed the little orange button several times and tried the switch one last time. Alas, the same gentle hum was the only life I could detect. Defeated, I shared the news with my mom.

She suggested that I put a stick into her and rotate the blades. I tried, and again, no luck. Just for the sake of it, I also tried the reset button a few more times. I tried pressing and holding. I tried pressing and pressing and pressing some more. Nothing worked. We checked the fuse box just to be safe. I am feeling confident that her time has come and for my birthday, I will be purchasing myself a new garbage disposal.

garbage-disposalLet the fun begin! I did some quick internet research and discovered that all garbage disposals are essentially made by one of four companies. The Insinkerator seems to be the most common. The main differences are based on horse power. Tomorrow, I will try to get her to start one more time before beginning my search for a replacement. Afterwards, I will then have to decide whether I will install it myself or call Keith, my dependable and affordable handiman. 

Happy Birthday to ME!!!! Every gal wants a garbage disposal for her birthday, even if it is a day late.

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I wrote a blog earlier in which I mentioned that my son and I went to Lowe’s. I didn’t say much more about it, either positive or negative yet I come home tonight and discovered that Lowe’s has a site called Lowe’s Red Apron in which they linked me. Weirdness in my opinion. I do shop at Lowe’s, more frequently lately due to the purchase of my home. Other than the convenience factor, that is about the only reason that I shop there. Getting service is pretty difficult. I always have to track someone down. I don’t know if it’s just my perception, but the male customer’s seem to have employees following them, offering to help while us females have to search high and low for employees. I have had some wonderful male employees, but more often than not, they don’t really seem to want to give me the time of the day. Maybe they assume that I don’t have a clue what I’m doing. The women, on the other hand, are usually very friendly and will even joke and interact. I don’t know. I’d think that maybe it was just me, but I have heard other women say the same thing and I don’t feel this way about any other store. 

So, for you men that think women don’t do handiwork, let me tell you about some of the things that I have done. I have done these alone, researching if necessary and without the help of a professional. I have completely taken apart a toilet in order to repair parts, repaired a faulty shower knob, replaced numerous door knobs and locks, replaced handles on sliding glass doors, replaced screen doors, cut and installed wire around the foundation of my home, rebuilt a pond, fixed leaky sinks, caulked entire bathrooms, of course I have painted walls and ceilings, moved a whole home entirely on my own across state lines, repaired appliances, repair holes in walls…the list is long. 

I am woman, hear me roar!!  🙂

I wonder if Lowe’s will be linking this particular post to my blog. Hmmmm….

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My daughter’s dad and I divorced over 14 years ago when she was 8 months old.  For the first few years, he really had nothing to do with her. When she was three, I moved to another state. We lived there for two years. When we moved back to state number 1, he got involved with her life although it was somewhat spuratic. None the less, he developed a relationship with her. A few years later, I graduated college, got a job and moved away once again. They now live about 3 hours apart…except for the fact that he is currentlyon duty in Iraq.

I was talking with him online moments ago. After 14 years, we have a great relationship. Of course, we were talking about her. One part of the conversation I happened to mention that she wants to go to Australia for college (we live in America). His comments were pretty negative about that wanting to know how she plans to pay for it and if I have won the lottery. While his points are valid, I have an opposite view. While I certainly don’t know if her dreams to go to Australia are realistic, I am not going to kill them. I want her to pursue them. Explore them. Find out what it would take to make that happen and then try really hard to make those dreams come true. If there comes a time when she decideds that it just isn’t practical, so be it. In the meantime, let her dream.

The second is an ongoing problem. He schedules time with her, but rarely alone. He likes to bring his girlfriend along. While my daughter does like his girlfriend very much, the reality is that she doesn’t see her father much and she would just like some time with him. They are not married, they do not live together, she is “just” a girlfriend. In fact, she is one of many that my daughter has had to spend time with when all she wanted to do was spend time with her dad. I’ve metioned this to him before but it doesn’t change anything. If only he knew how much this bothers her and how invaluable it makes her feel. There aren’t many years left with her, she’s almost 15.

If I could give parents any advice, one would be to let your children dream. Don’t squander their dream. Help them to explore it and see if there is anyway to make it happen. The other piece would be to find time to be alone with your children. These bits of advice are true whether you live with your children or not. If we don’t let our kids dream, where is their hope in life? If we don’t take the time to spend with our kids, how will they know that we care? Talk with them about everything. Tell them how valuable they are. Cherish them. Share their dreams.

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There are two types of people in this world: those who like to talk and those who like to listen. I suppose it’s good that there are both types as a world filled with talkers would be insane while a world filled with listeners would be deadly quiet. I’m sure you know the type of people that I am referring to. You know that friend that is always the center of attention with great stories to tell? The one that lets everyone know about how perfect last night’s date was, exactly what both people wore and what they ate? The talker never realizes when the listener has stopped listening and the listener is so good at listening that she can float in and out of the conversation and still know exactly what the talker is talking about even though the listener has not given the talker her full attention for the past 20 minutes. 

The listener is the person that sits quietly and nods at just the right time, adding a few verbal cues here and there, but never really saying much. It isn’t until you notice the engagement ring on her hand that you realize first of all that she has a boyfriend and second of all that she has been dating him for three years! Furthermore, they have extensively traveled the world over the past few years and you had no knowledge of this despite the fact that you consider her one of your best friends.

As a listener, I can share that it is an amazing thing and even, if you will, a God given gift. All of my life I have been amazed how virtual strangers will approach me and without much prodding (if any!), they pour their life story out for me to hear. As a teenager working in a department store, we were required to ask customers why they were returning items. One day, early on in the job, a man started telling all about how he and his finace had broken up with details as to why and that was the reason that he was returning her clothing. It was horrible and sad, I was young and did not know what to say, so I vowed to NEVER ask a customer again! 

I have a new friend that is a listener. It’s very odd to me. Those of you that know me know that I had some serious health issues last year. 9 months later, I am still in the recovery stages and I have permanent life long damage as a result. This friend is an online friend that I have never actually met, we just have small email conversations – no big deal. However, I have always been the listener in my friendships and it is very odd for me to have this role reversed. He checks in with me and makes sure that I am ok. When I ask him questions, he may skim over them with a quick answer, but he never really lets the focus be on him, it’s always about making sure that I am ok. I am confident that I am not receiving special treatment from him, that this is his personality and that he is like this with several people on the board, yet it has me pondering tonight. 

To have two listeners become friends really puts quite the twist on things. I like that someone seems to care, yet it really bothers me that they are not sharing. The irony is that when I am with my talker friends, sometimes I wish that they would just stop and listen. Kind of crazy. 

What makes a person a talker or a listener? Does it go back to the old nature vs. nurture? Is it a God given gift or role in this life or is it influenced more by the way that we were raised? Or, is it all of the above? Growing up in my family of four, I am the only listener. Even though I wouldn’t classify my mom as a talker, she is by no means a listener.

I suppose I don’t really have a point, merely pondering tonight. It’s an odd twist to have someone care. I wish I could find that in my daily life…a man to make sure that I really am ok at the end of the day. As this friend once told me, I hold hands all day long in my career, at the end of the day, it would sure be nice to have someone hold mine. Wow. He figured me out fast.

14 years, 1 month and 19 days…

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